I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
