Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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