We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
