Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i love accidental penises.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize