shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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