Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
