You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
