New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
