We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
