Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
