Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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