i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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