If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
