I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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