Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
