oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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