Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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