More tranny stories later!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
