I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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