You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
