sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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