People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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