kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
