At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
