I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
