You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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