yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize