I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize