I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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