We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
