Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
