batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
