your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
