He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
