best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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