"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
