His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
