Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We named our party play list daddy issues
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
