i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
