Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
