new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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