i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
