i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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