when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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