last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There r osticjed everywhere
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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