That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
