i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
