Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
