I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize