I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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