Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize