and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
