i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize