you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
