If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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