like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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