I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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