my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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