If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
