I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
