I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
