Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
