dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
