Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
