I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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