i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
