BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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